If you’ve been wondering what Ron Jeremy’s been up to lately, Killer School Girls From Outer Space, brought to us by the wonderful folks at Angry Nun Productions, would be a good starting point in your quest. Ron Jeremy was a good choice for a cameo in this movie as it feels almost like watching porn without there being any actual porn.
To be fair the movie is prefaced with a paragraph giving praise to the king of all that is B movie, Roger Corman. Angry Nun takes the time to pay homage to a person they view as a mentor in their quest to bring the viewer the best in low-quality entertainment. In doing so they also humbly state that they hope to continue in his footsteps on the path to greatness as other studios have done. I found that to be rather admirable. On to the synopsis…
The movie opens with a few girls donning school girl uniforms decimating an entire group of guys before boarding their spacecraft and taking off from the planet. Eventually we see the planet destroyed by a device they had left there. Aboard the ship, the girls begin to communicate with “The Fatherâ€, played by the one and only Ron Jeremy. The Father tells the girls that their global conquest is almost complete with the exception of one small planet: Earth. The girls are dispatched to Earth to complete their mission.
Meanwhile, back on Earth Ben is a local high school superstar quarterback who is having second thoughts about his future as an athlete. Let it be stated right now that not one person in this entire movie who was supposed to be of high school age looks even remotely like they’ve stepped foot in a school in years. Think Andrea Zuckerman a la the original 90210 and you’ll understand where I’m coming from. Anyhow, Ben and his girlfriend Allison are out on a date enjoying some of the finer qualities of life when they see what appears to be a shooting star that lands a few miles away. Being a curious teenage boy, Ben decides to go investigate.
Over at the landing site of the presumed shooting star Old Man Jenkins (yes, seriously) has decided to do some investigating of his own. What he finds is that this is no shooting star. It’s a space ship. Unfortunately for Mr. Jenkins his dog charges the girls and is vaporized. Incensed, Jenkins raises his shotgun, aims and fires. Obviously this is of little use and Mr. Jenkins finds himself on the receiving end of a school girl laser blast. Soon after, Ben and Allison arrive and are accosted by a now horribly disfigured Old Man Jenkins (who is shortly vaporized) and then attacked by the school girls.
They manage to get away and high tail it to the local sheriff’s office. The sheriff doesn’t believe them and begins to verbally berate them (keep an eye on him and you can watch him reading cue cards), but the deputy decides that in spite of it, he will take the kids to investigate. Thus begins the massacre of this small town.
What I found interesting about this movie is the definite 50’s vibe it gives off. The soundtrack is made up of 50’s era background music, yet the period of the movie itself appears to be much more modern. This seems to have been done specifically to bring the viewer into that era and style of movie while keeping a firm hold on modern humor elements. For example, when Ben runs into a nemesis of his he is challenged to a game of chicken. In my eyes, that kind of challenge was much more common in the middle of the 20th century than in recent history, yet the game occurs between a modern SUV and a Mazda Miata. It was an interesting clash of ideas that I wouldn’t necessarily call smooth but also wasn’t displeasing.
For a movie that knew what it was aiming for, I think Killer School Girls From Outer Space did a pretty good job of hitting its mark. Angry Nun doesn’t want you to pop this flick in your DVD player and expect Close Encounters of the Third Kind. If you can understand that that’s not going to happen you should probably be ok. My only real qualm is how small of a part Ron Jeremy had. It seemed almost as if he was relegated to more of a Jon Lovitz type of character. Putting him on the cover of the movie is extremely similar to having Drew Barrymore on the Scream movie posters, only in this case it’s even more of a bait-and-switch.
All-in-all if you’re looking for a decent B movie, Killer School Girls From Outer Space is a good candidate.
