Have you ever watched a movie and just thought, â€œwhat the fuck?â€ Well, that choice little phrase must have popped into my head no less than eight times in the first hour of this two-hour marathon of â€œwhat the fuck-nessâ€. The movie I refer to is the low budget English horror film â€˜Baneâ€™ written and directed by James Eaves.
â€˜Baneâ€™ starts off when some poor lass wakes up in cot surrounded by three other sleeping women. We soon learn that neither her nor the other women have any clue how they got there and why theyâ€™re there at all. All we really know is that their interior decorator ought to be fired as the room only contains four cots, a toilet and some dusty plastic sheeting covering a mesh fence that serves as the walls to their room; I mean, they easily spent tens of dollars on that set.
Anyway, this movie quickly develops into a whole lot of confusion. Actually, the word â€œquicklyâ€ is not one I should be using in this review as nothing happens quickly during the first half of â€˜Baneâ€™. The initial pace of the film is incredibly slow and I have to admit that I was very confused with some bits but most of it was explained later on. One of the women, Katherine, is escorted out of their fine living arrangements by a crazy looking doctor with a cane (never a good sign) where he goes through some unexplained testing with her. Pretty soon, the women all realize that the same thing is happening to all of them and they donâ€™t know why.
Things start getting interesting when one of the women, Elaine, wakes up and discovers a number carved into her back. Later sheâ€™s visited by a bloody surgeon guy who kills her with a rather nasty looking knife. After some understandable freaking out by the other women, shit really hits the fan when the next woman wakes up with a number carved in her back and we realize that the number represents the time that this bloody surgeon is going to pay them a visit.
The bottom line here is that once the movie picks up, it really is pretty interesting (if a bit weird) and the actresses do a very good job of displaying the tensions that their characters are feeling. â€˜Baneâ€™ was definitely not short in the gore department and we always love that, donâ€™t we? The movie ends with a pretty good twist that I certainly didnâ€™t have figured out in advance and I was overall pretty pleased with it by the finish. If I had any real gripe, it would be that maybe Mr. Eaves could have done some editing to speed up the pace at the beginning.
One super-cool thing is that the movie includes a gag reel. Ever since the days of â€˜Cannonball Runâ€™ and â€˜Smokey and the Banditâ€™ have I been enamored with the almighty â€˜gag reelâ€™. I only wish that more horror movies would include them; I love a good laugh with my gore.