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41

The 13 Most Terrifying Horror Soundtracks / Scores

By Bill Burns

The 13 Most Terrifying Horror Soundtracks

No other film genre is more conducive to the power of the soundtrack than horror. Suspense, anxiety, and dread are all intensified by music and sound amplified to dizzying highs and whispered lows. The catharsis of music perfectly accentuates the expression of repressed fears and hidden desires that are found in every horror film. Here are the most terrifying horror soundtracks ever. And when we say soundtrack, we mean an actual movie score, not some hodge-podge compilation of disparate tracks. We mean a sinisterly holistic experience of unsettling compositions. Listen if you dare..

13. Shadow of the Vampire (2000)—Dan Jones

Dan Jones’s score for E. Elias Merhige’s fictionalized account of the making of Murnau’s Nosferatu sounds like Adolf Wolfli conducting a Wagner score. Utilizing Jones’s electro-acoustic background, the soundtrack mixes delicate Weimar whimsy with catastrophic surges of orchestral clamor. Never has the hurdy-gurdy sounded so ominous. If you ever wondered what a Kurt Weil-Krzysztof Penderecki collaboration would be like, here is the next best thing.

12. 30 Days of Night (2007)—Brian Reitzell

On holiday from drumming for Redd Kross and being the Coppolas’ personal composer, Reitzell’s score for the adaptation of Steve Niles’s groundbreaking comic series is a dark ambient masterpiece. Using silence, guttural moans, screams, deep rumblings, howls, visceral beats, and icy soundscapes, the listener not only hears, but feels the nihilistic attacks on the citizens of Barrow, Alaska. Coming off like an evil Brian Eno, Reitzell’s score sounds like the end of the world or the beginning of a more savage one.

11. Buio Omega (1979)—Goblin

Goblin have produced some of the most mind melting movie music ever (Suspiria, Deep Red, the Italian cuts of Dawn of the Dead and Martin), but this, their soundtrack to Joe D'Amato’s ode to cannibalism and necrophilia, is just too much. Imagine a Gothic Giorgio Moroder pumping out pulsating disco beats, menacing synthesizer washes, and funky rock like some insane suicidal DJ. Come to think of it, Buio Omega is kind of like Midnight Express if the main character was smuggling bodies and body parts rather than drugs.

10. Werewolves on Wheels (1971)—Don Gere

Werewolves on Wheels is the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups of Horror: two great tastes that go great together. Bikers, Satanists, and a werewolf? Finally, a movie that speaks to my demographic. Don Gere’s sun-baked stoned mantra of a score sounds like Charlie Manson fronting some Krautrock band: bad ass acoustic guitars, motorik drumming, trancey ritualistic percussion. Skip the two buckskin jacket Topanga Canyon wuss country rock tracks though, and go straight for the occult psyche doom.

9. Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979)—Popol Vuh

Werner Herzog’s remake of the Murnau classic showcases the magic of Florian Fricke’s Popol Vuh, one of the most evocative and spiritual Krautrock bands ever. Herzog used Popol Vuh’s enchantment on many of his films but Nosferatu is the epitome of their collaborations. Piano, sitar, and folk instruments showcase how out of darkness comes light, as the shifting moods go from despair to glory. The opening track “Bruder des Schatten-Sohne des Licts” is an ominous yet meditative hymn, almost like a monastic plague threnody. The soundtrack was split between two albums, but the 2004 reissue collects the entire soundtrack on one cd.

8. 7 Note in Nero (1977)—Franco Bixio-Fabio Frizzi-Vince Tempera

Bixio, Frizzi, and Tempera’s score is much different than the usual giallo soundtrack. Rather than attack the viewer with the requisite stabbing strings, the music for this Lucio Fulci thriller is playfully titillating, a loungey/exotica sound with dark unsettling undertones. OK, maybe it doesn’t radically reinvent giallo music, but the distinctive use of the carillion (a keyboard that rings notes out of 23 bronze bells) adds a peculiar rococo motif that, when mixed with synthesizers, piano, and female vocals creates a very unique, decadent atmosphere. Quentin Tarantino appropriated the theme song for Kill Bill Vol. 1.

7. Night of Dark Shadows (1971)—Robert Colbert

Dan Curtis’s criminally underrated extension of the Dark Shadows mythos is given a tragically eerie score by series composer Robert Colbert (who also scored House of Dark Shadows). Colbert’s music is elegant, gentle, and stark, using minimal piano, strings, and percussion enhanced by subtle electronic effects. The music sort of appears out of nowhere, hovers, terrifies, and dissipates like the ghostly Angelique. Truly autumnal chamber music for a Collinwood séance.

6.Onibaba (1964)—Hikaru Hayashi and Tetsuya Ohashi

This tale of predatory women in 14th century Japan uses anachronistic mash ups to express the demons of the mind. Ritualistic Taiko drumming is crossed with frenetic free jazz creating a dramatic tension between the pounding, unrelenting percussion and the hysterical wailing of feverish flutes and horns. Although the film feels like a noh play, the soundtrack comes on like Grand Guignol.

5. The Amityville Horror (1979)—Lalo Schifrin

Ah, the greatness that is Lalo Schifrin. The fifth jewel in the crown that represents the majesty of film composing (joining Morricone, Herrmann, Goldsmith, and Ifukube). Supposedly incorporating elements of his rejected Exorcist score, Schifrin manipulates the loud/soft dynamic like the master he is. Swarms of orchestral noise and piercing distorted notes punctuate the innocent choir voices and elegiac piano that float through the film. Thank Satan that this score is so scary, because the film certainly isn’t. Friedkin’s loss was our gain.

4. The Fog (1980)—John Carpenter

Carpenter’s influence on horror soundtracks might be even bigger than his influence on horror directing. His epochal Halloween score, the gritty-funky Escape from New York, and the brooding Prince of Darkness (many in collaboration with Alan Howarth) are almost haiku-like in their raw simplicity and minimalist glory. For The Fog, Carpenter invokes a dream within a dream using prolonged tones, sinister Satie-like piano, incessant rattling percussion, and disquieting waves of synthesizer replicating the creeping miasma. Carpenter’s unsophisticated style of scoring has stood the test of time and still reveals hidden treasures with repeated listening.

3. Dracula (1958)—James Bernard

The man who brought stately grandeur to the iconic Hammer Studios brand unleashed his most bombastic yet romantic score for the first outing of Christopher Lee as Dracula. Embodying the ferocity and the majesty of its title character, Bernard’s soundtrack uses the repeated orchestral theme of sounding out “Dra-cu-laaa” to invoke the Count’s vampiric presence, a constant reminder of the threat that menaces all the characters in the film. Bernard’s music is just as important as the genre-changing performances of Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing.

2. Psycho (1960)— Bernard Herrmann

The film that launched a 1,000 thrillers has a score that influenced a 1,000 thriller soundtracks. Herrmann’s tense, agitated, shocking music is an all-out assault on the mind and body. Using harsh screeching strings to a devastating effect, the notes viscously stab the audience’s ears penetrating into the brain. The recurring driving momentum of the score achieves a subtle psychological effect keeping the audience in a constant state of paranoia. Herrmann was influenced by bird calls, which fits perfectly with the bird symbolism in the film. Originally, Hitchcock didn’t want any music during the famed shower murder scene but was persuaded by Herrmann to let him score it. It is of some consolation that even the great Hitchcock could be wrong.

1. Rosemary’s Baby (1968)/The Fearless Vampire Killers (1967)—Krzysztof Komeda

Polish jazz musician Krzysztof Komeda wrote the scores for four of his friend Roman Polanski’s films. Two of those scores represent the finest film music to ever grace a horror film. (The other two ain’t bad either). Komeda’s soundtrack to The Fearless Vampire Killers is a swirling, ominous tempest of voices, folk music, and orchestral frenzy. Haunting wordless vocals (no doubt influenced by Morricone’s use of Alessandro Alessandroni and Edda Dell'Orso ) drift in and out of the score like the snow that falls on Sharon Tate as she is attacked in the bath. Some of the tracks can only be described as scary jazz, like if Miles Davis and Gil Evans had made an album called Sketches of Transylvania. Other tracks sound like what The Free Design would have recorded had they been a coven rather than a sunshine pop group. Speaking of covens, Komeda’s score for Rosemary’s Baby is just as fine if not finer. Coming across like bachelor pad music for a Satanist, Komeda’s soundtrack is a nightmare of disorienting sounds, blaring horns, sluggish piano, and bleary strings. The main title theme is an absolute masterpiece: the infamous lullaby to the baby Anti-Christ. The single refrain of “La-La-La-La” (sung by Rosemary herself, Mia Farrow) never sounded so creepy and hopeless.

Honorable Mentions:
The Omen—Jerry Goldsmith
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre–Tobe Hooper and Wayne Bell
The Keep—Tangerine Dream
Horror Express—John Cacavas
Let’s Scare Jessica to Death–Orville Stoeber
Jaws—John Williams
The Haunting of Julia– Colin Towns

42

The Wicked Review

Review by: Bill Burns

Synopsis:
Local stories warn that deep in the woods, a witch with a ravenous hunger feeds on the flesh of the young. In an abandoned house in the woods, she hunts her victims, trapping and torturing them in order to prolong her unnatural life. When another child goes missing, a group of teenagers decide to find out if the urban legend is true. What starts out as a meaningless dare turns into a blood-splattered fight for survival against a mistress of darkness.

Our Thoughts:
In an effort to begin this review on a positive note, the color correction for The Wicked is quite good. The color green pops out in a spectacularly natural way. Other than that, The Wicked disappoints on every level. Peter Winther’s direction is quite pedestrian, showing little flair or menace. The settings of the woods and the abandoned house provide ample opportunities for creative camera placement or movement, but Winther choses to play it safe, giving the viewer the same shots we’ve seen in a thousand mediocre horror films. Things pick up a bit in the witch’s sub-basement occult lair, but those scenes are few and far between. The potential for mood and atmosphere is totally wasted. There’s not even any good gore to get you through the Scooby Doo-esque shenanigans unless you like bad CGI’ed blood splatter, and if you are a true HNN believer, I know you don’t.

Michael Vickerman’s script gives us clichéd characters and endless exposition about people that really aren’t that interesting to begin with. The one character that doesn’t get enough discussion that we need to know more about is the witch. There are plot holes large enough to drive a truck through. Characters turn on lights in the abandoned house’s basement: who’s paying the electric bill for this hovel? After they turn the lights on, the characters still use their flashlights. Why? The witch cocoons up her victims and places apples in their mouths. How? Why? Does anyone care by this point? The acting is adequate, but the script doesn’t give the actors many chances to shine. The kidnapped girl (played by Caitlin Carmichael) is quite a good child actress but is regulated to screaming and crying for the majority of the film.

The witchcraft film is an incredibly under-utilized but fascinating genre that deserves better than The Wicked. With some cuts for language and nudity (don’t get your hopes up), this film could be easily mistaken for a SyFy/Chiller Channel bore-a-thon. If you are jonesin’ for witchy movies, watch Lords of Salem or Suspiria or The Blair Witch Project or even The Wizard of Oz. Leave The Wicked forgotten in the woods where it belongs.

43

Top 5 Overlooked Horror Heroines

Horror News Network’s Christine Caprilozzi takes a look at five of the most overlooked women to brave the horror genre.

 

By Christine Caprilozzi , Sr. Editor

Horror News Network’s Top 5 Overlooked Horror Heroines

At the beginnings of the horror genre, women were, for the most part, used as props or victims. If you don’t believe me, watch the John Barrymore classic, 1920’s “Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde.” With the Civil Rights and Equality for Women movements in the 1960’s and early 1970’s, women didn’t just burn their bras, they started tearing up the screen. The horror genre started opening up for stronger, more empowered women who weren’t just there to play the victim.

When the subject of kick-ass women in horror comes up, people obviously talk about Jamie Lee Curtis as Laurie Strode in “Halloween,” or Sigourney Weaver’s force to be reckoned with as Ripley in “Aliens.” There are, however, a slew of characters that sometimes don’t get mentioned, but certainly have left a mark on this female horror fan.

Kirsty Cotton (played by Ashley Laurence) – “Hellraiser”
Ok, so not only did Kirsty figure to how to use that demonic rubiks cube, the Lament Configuration, but she was able to defeat Pinhead and his band of cenobites, TWICE! All the while having some major family issues, this girl also had to deal with fighting off the gruesome possibilities that were awaiting her in hell and pretty much clean up her stepmother’s mess.
 


 

Maggie Greene (played by Lauren Cohan) – “The Walking Dead”
I know I’m going to get some heat for this one, because the women of “The Waling Dead” are so popular. When we talk about women kicking ass though, “Michonne” quickly comes to people’s minds. She is, without a doubt, one of the fiercest on film. Maggie, however, we first met as a farm girl who didn’t really have any contact with walkers. Now she is opening a can of whoop ass of any zombie that gets in her way. She even stood her ground as she was being threatened by the Governor. Season three opened with Maggie being the only female amongst the gang of men helping to capture the prison for the group.Right there Maggie proved she can handle business just as effectively as they can.

Alice Johnson (played by Lisa Wilcox)-“Nightmare on Elm Street 4 &5”
What can you say about sweet Alice Johnson? She was the first to defeat the immortal Freddy Krueger. Not only did she defeat him by harnessing the power from Kristen, the last child from Elm Street, she defeated Freddy a second time after he waged war against her unborn child inside of her! Bravo to Alice…and Wes Craven for having an empowered woman take down the sinister Freddy Krueger.

Sarah (played by Shauna MacDonald) – “The Descent”
First off, when a group of women decide to have a “girls weekend” spelunking in unknown caverns, you know something is about to go gravely wrong. This is especially true when Sarah’s friend Juno is not only overbearing, but also having an affair with her husband. When Sarah spots these horrific creatures in the caves, Juno and the rest of the ladies brush her off as “Sarah is having a breakdown.” When all is said and done, and the creatures have picked the women off one by one, it’s Sarah and Juno left standing. Not only does Sarah in the end unleash her revenge on Juno in an intense standoff, she is the only one who manages to fight her way out of the underground and escape alive.

Helen Lyle (played by Virginia Madsen) – ”Candyman”
Sure people do talk about Helen from “Candyman,” but she doesn’t come up as much as some others, or maybe as much as she should. Helen was unique in a sense of she never ran from the evil. She was strong, smart, bold, and actually went into crime riddled Cabrini -Greens to seek out what was behind the monstrous legend. After being attacked there, Helen even questioned the cops as to why the place was in lockdown when they did absolutely nothing when two African Americans were murdered. She never lost her marbles. The irony of that was that her husband had her committed, which was convenient since he was sleeping with one of his students. Helen escapes, returns to Cabrini-Greens to meet Candyman. At the end, our heroine returns from the dead as reincarnation of Candyman in Helen’s body. This is where we see her, brave and defiant as ever, as she makes her husband pay the ultimate penalty for his actions.

Honorable mentions:
As I was tasked with a “Top 5,” I know there are many courageous horror chicks I could not fit on this list. Wendy Torrence form “The Shining,” who physically fought her insane husband to protect her son. Then there’s Selena from “28 Days Later,” who fought zombies throughout the entire film and even managed to perform life saving procedures. I need to even throw in Suzy Bannion from “Suspiria,” who was wasn’t all that brave throughout, but in the end grew a set and stabbed Helena Markos in the throat.

I probably could go on for days!  This begs the question, what horror heroines do YOU feel should get more respect?

44

HNN Interview w/Philip Anselmo &Corey Mitchell of Housecore Horror

By Christine Caprilozzi , Sr. Editor

Recently I had the pleasure of speaking with Philip Anselmo (Pantera, Down, Superjoint Ritual) and Corey Mitchell (best-selling author of “True Crime,” and heavy metal and horror journalist), the demonic duo behind Housecore Horror Film and Metal Festival. My goal was to get the story behind this hybrid horror and heavy metal monster. What I found was not just a music legend and best-selling author organizing a horror extravaganza. The festival is the brainchild of two insanely hardcore fans on a mission to share their horror knowledge and enthusiasm with the world.


Horror News Network: So from the background I’ve read, the two of you came up with the idea to create Housecore Horror Film Festival while working on Phil’s autobiography. This is really a horror and metal beast of a festival. How did you go about really spearheading and taking on such a huge project?

Philip Anselmo: Well it has been a work in progress. Even as we inch towards the date, we’re making sure we have all our “I”s dotted and “T”s crossed. But it has all be done with a great deal of passion for the genre.

Corey Mitchell: Between myself, Philip, and Tammy Moore (HHFF’s Creative Director), we have a ton of experience in music and horror. The thing about this venture is that it is a film festival first and foremost. Phil and I were just thinking about putting together a bunch of films that people don’t necessarily get to see, or have seen. We really wanted to showcase movies that go beyond what has become expected of horror films, and show what Phil and I both really dig. We came up with this idea a while back, but it was about two years ago where we said “okay, how are we going to do this?”

We pretty much just put the word out in Austin and got a tremendous response. Since the initial start of this, I’ve written a novel, and Philip has recorded a solo record and gone on a few tours. But we’re just hardcore horror fanatics and now we’re going full throttle. We’re trying to bring great horror and metal to as many people as we can.

Philip Anselmo: I have to add that there’s been a ton of people reaching out to us who want to be a part of it. It’s overwhelming…in a good way.

Horror News Network: You guys are really creating more of a three day experience, not just a festival. I know the full lineup of movies and bands haven’t been announced, but were you aiming for it to be a bit different so every day was a totally different from the day before?

Philip Anselmo: Yeah I definitely think so. I mean I’m a lover of everything going all the way back to the black and white classics that made up this genre. We really want this to be a reflection of what we love.

Horror News Network: There are some really stellar classic film choices here like Fulci’s “Zombie” and of course “Cannibal Holocaust.” Some of the choices are not familiar to the casual horror fan?

Philip Anselmo: That’s a great point because people may come for the music and be exposed to these films for the first time. We have Coffin Joe who has been around forever, and he went completely under the radar for most horror fans. It’s just amazing how many films this guy has actually done. So I think there will be something for everybody really.

Corey Mitchell: One thing for me that is important is to bring people something they’ve never seen before, or maybe they have but maybe not with a hundred other people in the room with them. For me personally, I really wanted to give people choices. I didn’t want it to be just a schedule, but an event where people have to make choices, and maybe to the point they’re going to be upset they missed a few things. The good thing is that it’s three days that you’re just completely assaulted with horror.
We’ve just announced that we’re bringing Goblin in to score “Suspiria” live. So, you can have that choice, or see another film you wanted to see at Sundance you missed, or see the original “Evil Dead” on other screens.

Horror News Network: Not sure where you’re at with deciding on the Independent films and that lineup. But what has that process been like filtering through the submissions?

Philip Anselmo: I have to say we have been getting just excellent submissions from independent, new filmmakers out there. They are really trying desperately to break new ground and do something different. I’m personally really excited to about that. For someone like me who is a true horror fan, that’s encouraging.

Corey Mitchell: Also encouraging, is that we’re getting submissions from all over the world. We’re talking about fifteen different countries.

Philip Anselmo: We have a screening committee of seven members that screens films for us, however, we are such fans that we have actually been watching every single submission that comes in.

We have a panel and a voting system of one star to five stars. Corey and I are pretty much on the same page as far as content goes. We watch the films and then regroup to discuss. Some aren’t horror in a classic sense of horror, but are really fucking great films.

Corey Mitchell: It’s really weird because Phillip and I are really on the same page. I’ll watch a film and shoot him and email that I just watched this great film and his rating will already be on there that he loved the same one. It’s been a really smooth process. As Phil said, some of these smaller budget films have a really great story behind them.

Horror News Network: I want to switch gears a bit and talk about the music. Obviously, some really amazing bands so far Down, Crowbar, Eyehategod, Warbeast. Are you also looking at new underground metal bands?

Philip Anselmo: Yes. We are looking even into different styles of bands because there are so many sub genres. There are also a lot of bands reaching out who want to be a part of this thing. It’s still in progress, but there will be more announcements.

Corey Mitchell: It’s been amazing how many people have come out whether it’s musicians, filmmakers, and even volunteers who have come out and just want to be a part of this. Most of this has been done through our social network. There’s really been no advertising and we have volunteers all over the country.

Horror News Network: With this festival being sort of a full on assault of brutal films and music, why do you think it is that heavy metal and horror often have the same fans?

Philip Anselmo: Heavy metal has hugely been influenced by horror, they go hand in hand. I sometimes even equate horror movies with certain metal albums. When I think of “Evil Dead”,” I think of Slayer’s “Hell Awaits.” It’s subject matter that usually makes the horror connection.

It’s no doubt that Housecore Horror will feature everything from classic horror, to fresh new independent films, to the obscure that even dedicated fans of the genre may never have heard of. Either way, from the fervor and knowledge that this team possesses, the films promise to be top notch quality.

Whether you talk to Philip and Corey for two minutes or two hours, it becomes crystal clear that this is NOT a business venture for the pair. Housecore Horror Film Festival is a labor of love born out of a brotherhood built on trust, humor, and a deep seeded affection for horror genre.

Horror fans would do well by getting themselves to this “assault” on your horror and metal senses. Brace yourselves Austin, as October is only six months away.

45

The Lords Of Salem Review

by: Sean Brickley

“What else did you expect from Rob Zombie?”

This is the question my wife asked me as we were leaving the theater after watching Rob Zombie’s newest offering, The Lords Of Salem. The question was posed as a response to my statement, “What a bizarre movie.” She had a point and this was something I should have expected being a fan of Zombie’s other films (with the exception of Halloween II and that stupid unicorn). With The Lords Of Salem though, Zombie pulls no punches and does an astonishing job of transcending past any of his previous accolades in the morbidity department. And just for those you who are wondering (you know who you are), Sheri Moon Zombie’s derriere does make its obligatory cameo.

Heidi Hawthorne (Moon) is a happy-go-lucky radio DJ (and recovering addict), forming the Big H Radio Team in Salem, Massachusetts alongside Whitey and Herman Munster. It’s an interesting departure for Sheri Moon because it’s probably the most normal role she’s had yet. She is much more identifiable. She overcame her troubled past and made something of herself instead of terrorizing people. When she’s laughing and having a good time it’s not sadistically and at someone else’s expense – it’s simply because she is a regular person. Additionally, her two cohorts on the air provide good comedic banter and show a genuine concern for her well-being. It’s interesting to watch Heidi’s reluctant descent from this state throughout the movie.

Not long into the movie, Heidi receives a record at the station enclosed in a somewhat ornate wooden box labeled simply as “The Lords.” The group has a bit of a laugh before leaving the station at the end of their shift; Heidi with the wooden box on her person. This is pretty much the moment in the movie where everything begins a gradually steepening downward spiral into, “just what the hell is going on right now?”

Heidi gets home and listens to the record, which sounds somewhat like a severely out-of-tune Velvet Underground. It immediately begins to have hallucinatory effects on her during which she sees visions regarding the witch trials Salem is historically known for. The intensity of what she is seeing even has a physical effect on her which is more than evident the next day. This is furthered when her fellow DJs play the record on the air. Whitey especially becomes more and more worried about her as to him it looks as though Heidi is possibly relapsing – which she eventually does.

Meanwhile, Heidi’s apartment manager and two of her friends begin to take a greater interest in Heidi while really strange things begin happening down in apartment 5. As the story progresses, more unfolds about Heidi’s lineage and how exactly her ancestry intertwines with Salem’s dark history. The events befalling Ms. Hawthorne are revealed to have been set in motion for quite some time. Whether or not Heidi has the willpower to resist the pull of a centuries-old witches coven becomes the ultimate question.

I liked the premise of the movie. It’s not necessarily the most original of concepts – modern protagonist bears the brunt of some supernatural event that occurred years before they were born – but the storyline in its simplest form could really be expanded on to create a somewhat decent horror flick.

The problem for me was the presentation of the story in this case. More than half of the time I felt like Rob Zombie was intentionally trying to confuse the shit out of me. The effects were wild but for the most part discomforting and just plain hard to understand. For example, the abundance of naked old witches only made me hope that for their sake they were wearing prosthetics. And if you think I’m being harsh and that “all nudity is beautiful and artistic”, then go see The Lords Of Salem and wait for the scene depicting the ritualistic stroking of a giant red dildo. Then we can talk about the witches in all of their natural beauty.

Another issue I had with the movie is that it seemed to have a bit of an identity problem. I don’t have a problem with directors/writers paying an homage to their inspirations so long as it’s done properly. Lords just seems to want to pay tribute to too many predecessors that it seems jumbled at times. I liked Suspiria. Rosemary’s Baby is a classic piece of film history – as is The Shining. Does this mean that I would want Argento, Kubrick and Roman Polanski (each from their respective time periods) to go sit in a room, get completely shitfaced and pen out an epic script for some twisted Satanic horror movie?

Actually, yes I would. That movie would most likely rock, but it would be because those three wrote it and made it, not because someone tried to undertake the task of emulating them all (all underhanded Polanski comments aside) within the confines of a 100 minute movie. That really is a monumental task and The Lords Of Salem is evidence of that.

Is it an entertaining movie? Sure, if you can get past not understanding some of the things you’re viewing and just have fun laughing at the spectacle of it all. And you will laugh. The circus-like atmosphere in parts of the movie more than makes up for the overall lack of anything that is really that scary.