By: Sean Brickley
After reviewing last year’s release (there was only one) for this week, I can tell you that at least this year, the Christmas week releases have tripled… to three total releases. Since there isn’t much else to say I’m going to leave you with a joke this week:
Benny is walking on the beach one day when he stumbles over a magic lamp. When he picks it up, a genie pops out and informs him that he will grant him one wish but there is a condition. Benny thinks long and hard and decides to wish for all the success in the world: mansions, cars, money, women, everything he ever wants at the snap of his fingers. The genie grants him his wish but the condition is that Benny can never shave his face again, no matter how long of a beard he ends up growing. If he does, he will be instantly transformed into an urn. Benny doesn’t think this is a big deal so he willingly accepts and begins his new life. 20 years later, Benny has it all: yachts, beautiful women, private jets, vacation homes all over the world – everything. Unfortunately, Benny’s beard now hangs down past his feet and has become unmanageable. He trips over it when he walks, he can’t eat soup without making a mess, his pets are constantly pawing at it, etc. Finally, one day Benny has had enough and in a fit of anger, shaves off his entire beard. Almost instantly, poof – Benny is transformed into an urn.
The moral of the story: A Benny shaved is a Benny urned.
Haylie Duff, Ryan Merriman, Danny Nucci, Mark Rolston
When a work group goes on a camping retreat in off-limits territory, they encounter dangers more serious than the paintball fight they had planned. Lee (Haylie Duff) becomes concerned when she learns of a couple who went missing near their campsite, but worries are tossed aside when the swimming, fishing and drinking begin. Outcast Adam (Ryan Merriman) is the only one who can’t shake the feeling that they shouldn’t be there, and his intuition proves to be right when the party splits for the paintball game. They don’t realize they’re being hunted by outsiders…as well as friends. Exposed in unknown territory, both groups are captured by deranged hillbillies and they must fight for their lives to escape.
Tim Martin, Don Fanelli, Charlie Fersko
On New Year’s Eve in 1955, Richard Howell, a patient at the Hillcrest Sanatorium, went on a bloody rampage, killing three children before he hanged himself. Fifty-six years later, a team of ghost hunters — from the popular TV series “Ghost Trackers” — prepares to spend the night at the sanatorium. They hope to capture paranormal activity for the entertainment of their show’s fans. Instead, they unleash a horrifying force of evil…hell-bent on their destruction.
Chang Jung Lim, Daniel Choi, Oh Dal-su, Jo Yoon-hee
Korea’s Black Market, where everything is for sale. Even your life. Young-Gyu was the best. He was an Organ Dealer, smuggling body parts for sale to the highest bidder. His crew was the best an organized team of professionals with top skills and no conscience. But when one of them dies on the job, the crew scatters. Now he fronts stolen goods, and has fallen in love with Yoo-Ri, a ticket agent at the port terminal. Her father is dying, and when she turns to a ruthless loan shark for help, Young-Gyu goes on a search to find his old partners for one last job.